**Joeys Journey**

Photos taken from our boating holiday (pirates arghhhhhhhhhh hehe) where i had successfully lost 23lb on the run up to the holiday but fell off the wagon whilst on holiday soooooooooooooo these are my holiday snaps and also current photos for my re-start!

Time to loose the chubby chubs face!

Joey x

Ok so i failed myself and totally fell off the wagon, but its ok because i have admitted i failed and i am now ready to carry on with the diet, or should i call it the dreaded re-start!

I cant believe its been a month since i last wrote in here and nearly almost that long since i was properly full swing on this diet.............that actually makes me angry at myself because this diet states you can loose up to a stone+ every month so i could be sat here all happy that im a stone slimmer but instead i'm sat here angry at myself haha.

So what happened..............a holiday happened.............We went on our boat trip to the norfolk broads..........i managed to shift 23lb on the run up to my holiday which i was over the moon about but decided to totally come off the diet for my holiday (as a treat) and getting back on it wasnt as easy as i first thought!

I have been having my milkshakes and a healthy dinner in the evenings but i have to also admit i have been slack and certain naughty foods have slipped past my lips as i havent had full willpower and enthusiasm

BUT i have a new holiday to work towards with my russell in the middle of september, and i want to be able to feel comfortable enough in my body to venture into the water park that is right near our hotel...........and as it stands i dont feel great in a swimming costume but it is my challenge,.............my next goal to work towards.

I have told myself that yes i mucked up and fell off the wagon BUT i am still 17lb down from when i started this diet originally so i havent lost the plot all together.............just need to get back on track and loose some more.

So today is my first sole source day and all the cravings and hunger pains that i had in the beginning of this diet are back but i am going to sodding beat them haha, just having my lunch now.............banana bliss!

I will keep on track posting too this time!

Just worked it out...........77 days until my holiday!!!!!!!

I have 77 days to get (as the boots advert states) BEACH GORGEOUS hahahahaha

xx Joeeeey xx

I forgot my log in details mwuahahaha what a fool well i am pleased to annouce that i didnt disapear because i was locked in a room eating all my favourite foods, i am well and truley still on this diet (be it with a few hic-ups along the way) i am still loosing!

My weigh in after last mentioned (in blog below) i lost 2lb

Last weeks weigh in i lost 1lb

Soooooo as you can see it has slowed down, but to be truthfull so has my willpower recently so i am pleased that i am still loosing weight!

Anyway back on track it is 7 days to the day that we all go on holiday for a week sooooooo i have 7 days to sole source my heart out and loose as much as possible before our hols.

I have lost 23lb so far and it feels great.  I have raided my bedroom cupboards for old clothes and been trying them on and some of them are starting to fit which is a great feeling YAY

but the best feeling ever is getting on the scales in the morning and seeing your weight stare back up at you......a weight that you cant remember the last time you was!!!! an it makes me very happy hehe

So there you have it, i am slowly but surely getting there woooooooo

Joey xx

Well i had my weigh in last night after my truely disasterous Add a meal week..........

I stayed the same!!  Of which i am unbelievably happy about!  I was dreading putting on weight!

So i feel life has handed me a second chance because i didnt put on..............so today i am right back on it and i have found my enthusiasm for this diet again wooohoooo so here's hoping that my following posts are all good with no signs of cheating!!!!

Joey x

Ok so I haven’t wrote in here this week because I am angry with myself and thought I could hide the fact I’ve failed myself by not putting it in my blog but I have turned around the way I’m going to look at my failure and instead I am going to post up exactly why I hate myself this week as a strong reminder of why not to cheat on this diet as it just spirals out of control and you end up feeling larger than life, depressed, angry at yourself and guilt ridden just like I do now so here goes…………..confession time………….

My first AAM week, what a bloody disaster.  What happened?  A day trip to France happened, and with that came all my old bad habits. On Tuesday 15^th May I spent a day in the life of the old Joey that used to eat whatever and whenever she wanted.  Here was the total damage of Tuesdays booze cruise to (my willpower well and truly fell overboard on the ferry)

Fried breakfast with 2 slices of toast

French stick with Brie

Bag of cheesy crisps

Chicken fajita wrap

Chips

Diet coke

Fanta Zero

How do I feel now…………well I have a few words to sum it up.

Gutted, Angry, Failed, miserable, depressed, full of regret and embarassed when people are wishing me luck with my weigh in tonight.

I really am so upset with myself for letting food beat me and as yummy as it all was..........it really wasnt worth feeling like this and putting my weight loss back a step.

Have decided that whats done is done there is nothing i can do to change it now, going to have to go have my weigh in tonight and deal with the results, get over them and move on...........tomorrow is a new day!!

I have 4 weeks until my holiday and i have another stone to shift before then and i really really want to do it!!!!!

So as of tomorrow im back on sole source and strictly sticking to just milkshakes and soups for the first week then i'll re-introduce the bars and the mixamouses the following week.

I need a right firm kick up the arse i cant believe i cheated................cheated myself the most!

Joey x

A short post for today but i just had to write this down to bookmark this day haha..........remember my work trousers that i used to have to breath in to button up.............i can now take them on and off with them buttoned up!!!!

mwuahahahaha i'm well happy about that!

Joey x

Another week gone by without me posting.........whooops!

To tell the truth i havent a clue where this week has got to, it has flown by i have been so busy.

Well last week marked the 100lb left to loose..........so what did i do about that.............went away for the weekend with my partner and ate............DOH!

In my defence, me and russ hardly get any time away together because he is always working so when he suggested going away i couldnt get in the car quick enough...........we went to Bath for the night stayed in a hotel had a roast carvery together then the next day got up early had breakfast in the little chef then spent the day at longleat safari park, was lovely (appart from the weather) then we travelled back home via kent to see my family where we had noodles and then back home to guzzle as much water as possible to try and undoe all the naughtiness of eating haha.

I made the decision to enjoy the weekend away together and not feel guilty about it but that is easier said than done when you are on a roll with a diet (mmmm bread role..........no............must not think of bread!!!!!)

So today was my weigh in and i have to say its the first time i have been scared of the result!!!!  I was just hoping and praying that i hadnt put any weight on because that would just be disheartening and the result was..............(drumroll please).....................1lb..............but..............i have never been so happy about loosing just 1lb in my whole life haha, after everything i ate over the weekend i was really happy with that result :)

So today is also the start of our Add a meal week which i have been dreaming about for 4 long weeks so tomorrow will see a shopping trip to fill the fridge with fresh veggies, salad, chicken and fish, how exciting!!!!!!!!!!! I have a feeling this week will be a lot easier hehe

joey x

Well i had my 3rd weigh in tonight and i lost another 4lb........thats a running total of 18lb in 3 weeks and makes me smack bang on 100lb to go to reach my target!  God that seems sooooooo long awaaaay!!!!  But at least i am heading in the right direction.........down!

I have cheered myself up today with the help of support from family, friends, sarah my CD guru and minimins members, i really appreciate it thank you!  I am back on track now, and with another 4lb loss behind me i am ready for the next week ahead of me.........

I am now only 10lb off loosing 2 stone, and gaining a trampoline as promised by the other half for reaching 2 stone!

Today is good and i am smiling again and have put yesterday behind me

Joey x

Well today is quite possibly the worst i have ever felt about my body it really is.

Today was the day i planned to start swimming with my friend dawn.  It is something i have been looking forward to because i love swimming, but also secretly been quite worried about because of my wobbly bits (i tried 2 of my costumes on today about 3 times haha)

Well dawn turned up and off we went but only to find my local swimming pool is shut for the day (DAM IT) for a kids party.........kids have all the fun haha so i called good old 118118 and asked for nearest pool they said leigh on sea so we didnt give in and go home we ventured off to find the swimming pool.........

Anyway.......15 minutes later and we are lost so i phone my other half and he directs us but we still cant find the centre so we see a dad and daughter on side of road ready to cross and we pull up next to them i wind down window and politely say 'excuse me can you tell me where the local swimming pool is please' to a reply of 'no i cant' so i said 'you cant, why not' to which he replied with a slur 'because your carrying too much extra weight' and stumbled off down the road.............i was stunned.........but also totally offended and upset..........me and dawn both sat there in shock and i swear to god if he didnt have his 6 year old daughter with him i would have been hurling him abuse in the street......

How can someone be that mean, after i had built up the courage to go swimming with wobbly everything he totally knocked me down and i burst into tears.............i dont care if he was drunk or not, how can a human being be so offensive and hurtfull and i done nothing to deserve it.

In the end me and dawn ended up coming home and ever since i have been sulking and thinking over what he said.....

It really hurts and i'm so angry at myself for letting my weight get so out of control.

They say drunk people dont hold back and say what they are thinking and he did, and that was with me fully clothed, what the hell would people be saying and judging me as in a swimming pool

Feeling totally depressed and fat

Joey